There are some stuffs that are just too complicate to even being type out. I stopped talking about my life in this blog because there are some thoughts that don't even matter. Thoughts that I would probably get judged about. Thoughts that make people approach me. Thoughts that make people pity me. Thoughts that make my life look extremely pathetic. And as much as I want to pour my heart out about all struggles that comes in my head, I refrain myself from doing so.
What's worse than wanting something that you can't have? It's not knowing what you want!
Wishing on all the stars in the sky for the answer to your questions, for something to believe in; someone to hold on. Having absolutely no control over yourslef, being caught up in a place you wish you were thousand miles away from. Being stuck somewhere between tha past and the future, nowhere near where you should be -in the present. Stuck in yesterdays and tomorrows, so far from home, far from everything you know and love. The uncertainty could just tear you to bits.
By the way, PMR is just in three more weeks. I'm feeling nervous in every second. Alhamdulillah, my preparation is almost complete. The only thing left to be done is to correct my intention. Why do I study? Lillahita'ala.