Peace be upon you.
Pathetic. The only thing that constantly taking me over. It leads to foolish action and ends with tears. It seems as if every time I try to re-gain my strength, something stops me. Sometimes I feel like I can't take it anymore. I thank Allah for giving me such a beautiful life. I'm the only child in my house. I get hundred percent attention from my parents. They provide me everything I need. I'm not that bad in my studies and I can't say that I'm ugly cause Allah's creations are always full of beauty. But even if you owns everything in this world, the word perfection will never be yours.
Forever. Why does everyone keep on using that word even they know that the word never exist in real life except for Allah? Relationship for years doesn't mean that you'll be together forever. People tend to see the only mistake that we did and forgetting all the good deeds. That is life.
Throughout my life, I’m seeking for a friendship that insyaAllah will ends to jannah. Most people say that friends come and go. And they say the true ones are the ones that stay. It’s funny when you thought you have found a true friend, but one thing you know, they’re completely gone. Not literally, but it definitely feels like it. What does it mean if everything shared are always happiness? Life would be easier if we could throw all the pain in the rubbish bin like we used to throw rubbish.
|There would be time where smiling will be so hard.|
Usually, people aren't really there when we need them. They may be around but we will still feel lonely. They don't say a lot. They will just hear the whole problems and ended up saying "I'm sorry for that" and changing the subject and turn it on themselves. I know everyone in this kind of situation needs more than that. These are the reasons why I prefer to keep all the pain with me. If you expose it to others, you'll probably hurt even more, and sometimes really bad. I'm not saying that you should keep all your problems to yourselves. These are just the way I would like it to be.
I may look immature until most people treat me like a kid. They assume that my life is all about joy, happiness and I’m nothing but smiles. Wrong. Even if I try not to grow up as much as I could, I know it will never happen. Is it too much for me to ask to be treated like a 15 years-old teenager?
Allah is there. He's definitely there. But my relationship with Him isn't strong. I hope one day I could wake-up at night at least ones a week to talk to Him. Prayer time is where we could find peace. Trust me, it really works because when we're praying, we're actually having the most beautiful time in our life because we're talking to the one who love us the most.
..... Dear people, how I wish you guys could realize what's hidden beneath the smiles .....