abience

Dikala sahabat-sahabat lain sudah mula membuat persediaan ke luar negara, aku baru mula mengintai biasiswa yang ditawarkan buat pelajar mrsm (yang kebanyakannya aku terlambat beberapa hari). Dikala sahabat-sahabat lain sudah mula mengerah tenaga bermandi peluh menimba pengalaman mencari sumber pendapatan, aku hanya mampu memberi kunjungan hormat bersama muka minta belanja. Dikala sahabat-sahabat lain sudah lama mendapat lesen L, aku baru terkedek-kedek nak pergi dengar ceramah 6 jam yang bosan sungguh khabarnya. Dikala sahabat-sahabat lain sudah semakin cekap kelentung kelentang di dapur, aku masih berusaha memahirkan diri meng-estimate sukatan air yang ideal bagi memasak nasi yang merupakan makanan ruji masyarakat Malaysia. Dikala sahabat-sahabat lain sudah merantau sini sana menghayati ciptaan Tuhan, aku hanya bergoyang kaki dirumah sambil meng-double-tap gambar-gambar mereka di instagram bersama secawan milo di tangan.

…

Kan best kalau jadi kereta, boleh pergi mana-mana. Lolwhut

But to get the chance to breathe, to wake up with my parents at home, to not receive any bad news about my siblings and friends and to worship Allah for another day,

I choose to be grateful.

I’ve been spending my holidays most of the time at home, reading books, watching movies, and finding myself; What I want to do in the future? What I want to be? Who should I be? How can I contribute to my Deen? It’s like having world war III in my mind till someone came by and softly whisper, ‘buat istikarah, sayang.’ And it reminds me of the last tazkirah from Sir Haziq. Agama itu nasihat. We know, but we would love to be reminded.

It’s nice to see those who grow up together with you turn into someone other people can rely on. Some of them entered college, someone works at the pharmacy, someone becomes a librarian, someone choose to be an educator at a tuition centre, someone works at baskin robbin, and lots of them went for interviews here and there.

Haha trust me behind those charismatic figures in complete suit; there is a kid in each of them. Still fresh in my mind two months ago how the guys were chasing each other to put ice cubes at their friends back, never have I forgotten that night when the girls suddenly play tuju kasut after lights off and the became all wet playing with the hose reel.

Even though I’m happy that they’re growing up, I still wanna keep the kid-side of them with me. I miss them.

Roomates. TL 07 

15^th January. I would like to make a little dedication for my ex-roomate, Aisyah Shahidi for her 18^th birthday *claps* May the many days ahead be showered with ultimate love and blessings from the Almighty. Thank you for an adventurous-roller-coaster-ride-year. I hope you’ll come across this post hehe

During her birthday last year, my batchmate brought her bed out from the room, placed it in the middle of dataran TL (thanks to nina and the gang I can’t remember who) and had the girls of the whole batch on her bed to sing a birthday song. With a few piles of water. And talc powders. I hope you never forget your 17^th birthday :)