tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62375861066247152952024-02-18T22:01:34.992-08:00Fatin NadhirahFatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-54597149688370080702016-06-06T01:54:00.002-07:002016-06-06T01:55:47.533-07:00palinoia(n.) the obsessive repetition of an act until it is perfect or mastered<br />
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alhamdulillah it's ramadan again (yayyyyyyyy) i'm usually excited when we reach ramadan but this time i'm overly-excited hehe. maybe i've grown older and wiser to realize that death can occur anytime and this might be my last ramadan oh and i can't even guarantee if i'll be able to enjoy this month till the last day. i'm growing up and growing up means life is getting tougher each day. ramadan is like a wake up call for me to remind myself to fulfil the purpose of life as a servant.<br />
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i listed a few ramadan goals. there's nothing much but i believe fixing little things can make a big difference.<br />
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<ul>
<li><b>eat, drink and be more moderate </b>-bazaar can be very tempting but lets not lose with lust</li>
</ul>
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<li><b>improve the quality of my prayers</b> -pray earlier, implement more khusyu'</li>
</ul>
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<li><b>prepare a dua list</b> -ramadan is a great time to make dua. a list will ensure i wont miss out any important dua</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>go on technology diet</b> -less time scrolling my social accounts, i thought about deleting the apps but naaah lets start slow</li>
</ul>
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<li><b>sadaqah each day</b> -its not about the quantity</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>finished the quran </b>-a juz a day, 4 pages after each prayer</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>avoid sleeping at the wrong time </b>-i have the bad habit of sleeping after sahoor while waiting for subuh so lets fix that first</li>
</ul>
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it will be the end of foundation in 10 days, more or less. may everything runs smoothly.</div>
Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-2400949507443936742016-04-28T07:07:00.000-07:002016-04-28T07:07:00.662-07:00why does living seems so hard these daysFatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-72752662268659417672016-04-08T03:23:00.001-07:002016-04-08T06:29:05.577-07:00finifugal<div>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">(adj.) hating endings; of someone who tries to avoid or prolong the final moments of a story, relationship, or some other journey</span></div>
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i still remember the last time we met. i mean that time before we're just like strangers passing by each other. i clearly remember that night. you suddenly seemed unhappy. i was worried, cluelessly not knowing i'm the one who made you sad. i dropped you home that night, you said you'll be alright. and all of a sudden you made all the time we spent together looks like a dream. you're slowly drifting away.<br />
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you may not read this, but if you do, can you please come back?</div>
Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-85152072964350577482016-01-11T05:50:00.001-08:002016-04-08T03:28:56.123-07:00sirimiri<div>(n.) a light rain, a fine drizzle</div><div><br></div>when it comes to you<div>they said i am a poet</div><div>carving beautiful words</div><div>portraying perfection</div><div>but</div><div>they didn't know</div><div>that actually</div><div>the poem is you</div><div>and i'm just reading it out.</div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-12257788107278847672015-07-07T01:51:00.002-07:002015-07-07T05:24:16.802-07:00appetence(n.) an eager desire, an instinctive inclination; an attraction or a natural bond<br />
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Woah it's been about three months since my last post. But naaah, who's reading it anyway? I did have something on mind. But I thought about compiling those little thoughts. But things didn't always go the way I planned. By times, the thoughts fade away.<br />
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I registered University of Malaya about a month ago as a foundation student, taking biological science. I learned new things. I made new friends. I discovered new places. And I withdrew, last week.<br />
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I wanted to be a doctor since I was six. I used to believe I'll end up in a white coat one day. People around me for the past 12 years must have been sick listening to my thoughts on how much I wanted to be a doctor, why I wanted to be a doctor, what will I do when I become a doctor. Those reasons, some people claimed it to be so pure and personnel but now I guess it isn't real at all. Maybe I just created the reasons to tell myself the needs to be a doctor and I shouldn't look for something else. Obsessed. I was obsessed. For no particular reason. I was obsessed.<br />
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When I was 15, I joined a school trip to an engineering faculty. The students there told me I shouldn't join the trip. For a moment I thought it was so rude, like suka hati orang lah sekolah orang punya trip. Then a brother said, "It's written on your face, you wanted to do medicine."<br />
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When I was 17, I asked my chemistry teacher. What if I were to pursue engineering? "You're good. I think you can do well in any course, but your face looks more like a biological science student."<br />
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When I am 18, just a few months a ago. I asked my friends, just after I received the call to attend an interview. If I receive the scholarship, should I accept the offer? "Hmm petronas kot, tapi even my mom said, your face looks like a doctor."<br />
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Again, when I am 18, I did the medical check up before entering UM. When the radiologist passed me the xray, he said "Here's your xray. Goodluck, doctor."<br />
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I was obsessed. So obsessed till it's written on my face. So obsessed till I can't hide it. So obsessed till I ignore the fact that I'm afraid of blood.<br />
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I have a friend who once wanted to be a doctor too. We did some deep talks on how are we going to be doctors, where should we study, how will we contribute to the people. I thought we could get along together. Until one day he received an offer from mara to pursue engineering. And he accepted the offer. I was confused and lost. Like how could he got shaken up just by an offer?! Did he gave up this early? What happens to our dreams? All the deep talks, were they lies?<br />
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ha ha ha padan muka, kan dah kena kat diri sendiri.<br />
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I come to realize. It's not about getting shaken up. It's not about giving up. It's not about burying your dream. It's not about lying. It's about handing in your heart to the right One, and let He decides.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِى عَلَى دِينِكَ -- </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">Oh Turner of Hearts, keep my heart firm on Your Deen</span><br />
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He is capable to do it. To turn your heart to face something better, which you might not know what is it. I did istikharah a few times. A 12 years dream, it didn't fade that easily. The feeling is still strong. But the feeling to let it go, is stronger.<br />
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This is Dr. Fatin, signing off!<br />
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Ir. Fatin, all the best!<br />
<br />Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-1940401639504055992015-04-19T19:24:00.001-07:002015-04-19T19:29:32.713-07:00selcouth<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">(adj.) unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous</span></div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>Life. How do people define life, I wonder. Been scrolling my timeline and I came across so many people who easily said </span><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">"Takde life lah orang yang macam ni macam ni macam ni"</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">"Takde life lah orang yang study medic ni"</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">"Takde life lah jadi pharmacist kerja bagi ubat je"</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I believed life has a wider perspective. How can people say someone has no life when he is doing something he like? How can people say someone has no life when he is doing it with a purposed? How can people say someone has no life when he is doing something that guaranteed him satisfaction? </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Does 'ada life' means going out every weekend hanging out with friends and relatives? Or traveling to every inch of the world? Or having a closet with up-to-date clothes? Or thousands of followers on social accounts? Or having a spouse, children, loved ones around? Or laying by the beach watching upon the twinkling stars? Maybe yes, from your point of view. But they are people who enjoy being a workaholic. They are people who enjoy being alone. They are people who are not interested to deal with family commitments. They are people who hates the darkness of the night and they are some who finds tranquility. They are people who enjoy being at home, snuggling under the blanket rather than going out. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I came to conclude that only we, ourselves can figure out are we having a life right now. Our life may not be interesting, we may be not happy, but are we sad with our own life? Sometimes, to be not sad is just something we should be grateful of. Majority might say that our pattern of life are pathetic, gloomy and dull. If we're thinking the other way round, just let them be. Because being in minority once in a while isn't a bad idea :)</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">18, confused, and too young to talk about life. Out.</div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8mRtz8rqf7TQSwTgzYVmuhwh88eM19DloEFMwVqi04MC0Ao_lupaOvvs_0AqgMQ7TY9esGYesz75si8CbsYxecj6guQlv8haXFRnS8LWv2V-E839IP_xZKj86NMivMHVtQM75VnYVqRI/s640/blogger-image--232069408.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8mRtz8rqf7TQSwTgzYVmuhwh88eM19DloEFMwVqi04MC0Ao_lupaOvvs_0AqgMQ7TY9esGYesz75si8CbsYxecj6guQlv8haXFRnS8LWv2V-E839IP_xZKj86NMivMHVtQM75VnYVqRI/s640/blogger-image--232069408.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">P/s: I am having a life. They are a part of it xoxo</span></div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-49571690147624279502015-03-14T09:17:00.001-07:002015-04-09T03:27:45.053-07:00illecebrous<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">First and for most I would like to apologize that most of the time my title has nothing to do with the entry. They are just random words I feel like using and I barely know the meaning. I'm sorry.</span><br />
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Not an all-time-homework-done girl. Not an all-night-stay-up girl. Not an early-wakeup girl too. Not the worst in school but also not the best. Not an outstanding girl with multiple soft skills. But afterall, alhamdulillah He gave me the chance to feel the sweetness of straight A's. </div>
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Between physics paper 2 and paper 3 there was around 1 hour gap. That was when I had lunch and perform my zuhr prayer. After lunch I usually go through the notes while waiting for the athan but on that day I choosed to go to the surau first, have my wudhu first (cause I just hate queuing), getting all ready for zuhr and then selak-selak nota sikit before the athan. But it happened to be after I had taken my wudhu, they did the athan and straight away the prayer. So I didn't have the time to review my notes. Time solat tu punyalah doa bagi soalan yang familiar keluar like ohm's law ke hooke's law ke. Jengjengjeng tengok-tengok keluar electromagnetism apa tah. Level tak tahu sampai tak tahu nak hentam apa. 17 marks. Usually paper 3 ni boleh siap dalam 30 minutes-1 hour, having another half an hour to recheck. I remember started writing section B during the last 10 minutes without knowing what I'm writing. Bila keluar exam hall I heard "susah kan tadi, nasib baik sempat baca, tau lah sikit-sikit nak hentam apa". Memang down tahap asdfghjkl. Cried to my mom that night tsk tsk</div>
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The interesting part is when Allah says that Dia akan bagi rezeki dari arah yang kita tak sangka. Alhamdulillah A+ for physic. I was hoping for a rezk as in an easy question but Allah gave me the rezk through the result. Maybe gred turun or they did some mistake during the key-in process but all praises belong to Him. </div>
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Istikarah. Not only done when we have a few options to choose. We can also practice it even before the choice is given. Dengan harapan Allah akan dorongkan hati kita, mata kita, tangan kita dekat soalan yang paling mudah untuk kita. And even in the midst of examinations, never leave the quran, cari masa untuk baca. </div>
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Last but not least, my greatest gratitude goes to my parents and teachers, for the countless prayers, efforts, foods, endless handouts, money and time spent on us. My friends, for being there through ups and downs, shedding sweats and tears together. Abang kakak DS, for providing sufficient food although all the other kids were back at home, the last morning breakfast which shouldn't be in the contract. Makcik pakcik jaga, for keeping us safe all day and all night. Cleaners, for putting us in comfortable surrounding. Jazakumullahukhair. May Allah repay your kindness.</div>
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Okay tutup cerita SPM. Another long way to go.</div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">One in a million, they are.</span></div>
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Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-23520179641655653352015-02-13T06:49:00.000-08:002015-02-13T06:49:50.492-08:00lacuna<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
(n.) a blank space, a missing part.</div>
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Happy 2<sup>nd</sup> anniversary Bcube<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">18 more days, they said. I choose to believe in them because
I </span>didn't<span style="font-family: inherit;"> do the countdown. These days, ayah selalu tanya; awak nak sambung
course apa? Medicine. I know he is trying to be realistic, so he made me have a
backup plan. He keeps on reminding me
that tak semua yang jadi akan ikut apa yang kita rancang because the best
planner, bukan kita.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">*once upon a time dalam surau raudhotul muttaqin*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Harapan cikgu, semua orang dapat Straight A+. Tapi cikgu
doakan, semua orang dapat result yang diberkati.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Result yang diberkati? Such think never come to my mind
before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Result yang diberkati tu tak semestinya straight A+. Ada
orang yang dapat A+ from top to bottom dalam slip tapi bila dia apply itu tak
dapat, ini tak dapat. Ada orang tak dapat straight A+ pun, tapi apa yang dia
nak jadi, dia dapat jadi, apa yang dia apply, diterima.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Kita dah habis usaha dah, tawakal je lah”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Tak. Kita boleh usaha lagi. <b>Doa</b>. Doa itu pun usaha. Solat
hajat. Baca yasin. Sedekah. Tolong orang. Semua tu usaha. Permudahkan urusan
orang, moga Allah permudahkan urusan kita. Hakikatnya, orang sekeliling kita
sebenarnya penembak doa. Aiman Azlan once said, we can’t control the results,
but we can control the effort.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Worried? Let us tell the One who can calms our hearts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The hearts find peace only in the remembrance of Allah.
(13:28)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Call Me, I will respond to you (40:60)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When My servants ask you (Muhammad) about Me, tell them that
I am near. (2:186)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Within this few days, jangan putus doa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Moga apa pun keputusan nanti, kita boleh terima dengan hati
terbuka. Moga apa pun keputusan nanti, cukup untuk buat parents kita gembira. Moga
apa pun keputusan nanti, boleh buat cikgu kita rasa penat lelah diorang
berbaloi. Moga apa pun keputusan nanti, adik-adik boleh ambil yang baik jadi
contoh dan yang tak baik jadi pengajaran. Moga apa pun keputusan nanti, semua
orang tak akan persoalkan sebab diorang tahu kita dah buat yang terbaik. Moga
apa pun keputusan nanti, kita makin dekat dengan Allah. Moga apa pun keputusan
nanti, ianya diberkati.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and it was 2 years ago, when we first met.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-11233041602292135232015-01-15T08:46:00.000-08:002015-01-15T09:10:16.595-08:00abience<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">Dikala
sahabat-sahabat lain sudah mula membuat persediaan ke luar negara, aku baru
mula mengintai biasiswa yang ditawarkan buat pelajar mrsm (yang kebanyakannya
aku terlambat beberapa hari). Dikala sahabat-sahabat lain sudah mula mengerah
tenaga bermandi peluh menimba pengalaman mencari sumber pendapatan, aku hanya
mampu memberi kunjungan hormat bersama muka minta belanja. Dikala
sahabat-sahabat lain sudah lama mendapat lesen L, aku baru terkedek-kedek nak
pergi dengar ceramah 6 jam yang bosan sungguh khabarnya. Dikala sahabat-sahabat
lain sudah semakin cekap kelentung kelentang di dapur, aku masih berusaha
memahirkan diri meng-estimate sukatan air yang ideal bagi memasak nasi yang
merupakan makanan ruji masyarakat Malaysia. Dikala sahabat-sahabat lain sudah
merantau sini sana menghayati ciptaan Tuhan, aku hanya bergoyang kaki dirumah
sambil meng-double-tap gambar-gambar mereka di instagram bersama secawan milo
di tangan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">Kan
best kalau jadi kereta, boleh pergi mana-mana. Lolwhut<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">But
to get the chance to breathe, to wake up with my parents at home, to not receive
any bad news about my siblings and friends and to worship Allah for another
day, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">I
choose to be grateful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">I’ve
been spending my holidays most of the time at home, reading books, watching
movies, and finding myself; What I want to do in the future? What I want
to be? Who should I be? How can I contribute to my Deen? It’s like having world
war III in my mind till someone came by and softly whisper, ‘<i>buat istikarah, sayang.</i>’ And it reminds
me of the last tazkirah from Sir Haziq. Agama itu nasihat. We know, but we
would love to be reminded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">It’s
nice to see those who grow up together with you turn into someone other people can
rely on. Some of them entered college, someone works at the pharmacy, someone becomes a librarian, someone choose to be an educator at a tuition centre, someone works
at baskin robbin, and lots of them went for interviews here and there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">Haha
trust me behind those charismatic figures in complete suit; there is a kid in
each of them. Still fresh in my mind two months ago how the guys were chasing
each other to put ice cubes at their friends back, never have I forgotten that
night when the girls suddenly play tuju kasut after lights off and the became
all wet playing with the hose reel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">Even
though I’m happy that they’re growing up, I still wanna keep the kid-side of
them with me. I miss them.<o:p></o:p></span><br>
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;"><br></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbkf_aiB0SO3vEwDqKWk8HnkDi8pwEuzmAHd_JHtRDAm9J6oXdBcy9Y2iy_IqHdKsnVbJAcU2JTAOCaG1KWJCf5lxgkYzMc3dFIMaRcekooIKUp3xjJbubR5sK5cBjtqL9lAfRsrvffdU/s640/blogger-image--1531562733.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbkf_aiB0SO3vEwDqKWk8HnkDi8pwEuzmAHd_JHtRDAm9J6oXdBcy9Y2iy_IqHdKsnVbJAcU2JTAOCaG1KWJCf5lxgkYzMc3dFIMaRcekooIKUp3xjJbubR5sK5cBjtqL9lAfRsrvffdU/s400/blogger-image--1531562733.jpg" width="400"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Roomates. TL 07 </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%;">15<sup>th</sup>
January. I would like to make a little dedication for my ex-roomate, Aisyah
Shahidi for her 18<sup>th</sup> birthday *claps* May the many days ahead
be showered with ultimate love and blessings from the Almighty. Thank you for an
adventurous-roller-coaster-ride-year. I hope you’ll come across this post hehe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">During
her birthday last year, my batchmate brought her bed out from the room, placed
it in the middle of dataran TL (thanks to nina and the gang I can’t remember
who) and had the girls of the whole batch on her bed to sing a birthday song. With
a few piles of water. And talc powders. I hope you never forget your 17<sup>th</sup>
birthday :)</span></span></div>
<br>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-82003756130319044302015-01-14T18:53:00.001-08:002015-01-15T01:13:34.151-08:00sereinThis worldly life is nothing but an amusement and play, and the Akhiraa is the real life indeed. Only if they know. (29:64)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fulfilling the purpose of life as a servant. Trying to become a <b>practicing</b> muslim. Letting go everything that creates boundaries between me and my Lord, one by one.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Moga Allah permudahkan.</div>
Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-39101214296239425942014-12-31T06:51:00.001-08:002015-01-15T09:07:42.681-08:00redamancy<div>
Assalamualaikum.</div>
<div>
Setelah sekian lama diri ini bertapa, kini kembalilah aku. Just to write a typical year end aka new year post.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2014. Haha what a great year. For a moment I swear, this year is the best. Happiness overload. Smiles and laughters from my cheerful friends. Cries (also from friends), during 'those times' when I'm completely fragile, that stupid prank on my birthday, and at chenang beach which holds thousand of memories witnessing our goodbye. Sweats while struggling with extra classes, unfinished homeworks, events by the school fuhh. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I regret nothing. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Even with a little drama, haha penambah perisa kata orang. Pernah merajuk dengan kawan time spm week sampai berkurung study dekat bilik. Pernah merajuk dengan kawan sampai mogok tak nak makan. Pernah merajuk dengan kawan sampai pulangkan balik semua barang dia. Pernah merajuk dengan kawan sampai tunjuk emo tahap asdfghjkl. And pernah merajuk dengan kawan sampai balik rumah, even though esok tu kena balik maktab balik.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But it didn't last long cause you always end up having new stories to share with them.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Haha. Memories.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
This maybe the last time I'll be talking about Langkawi cause I am moving on, not wanting to get haunted in the old days anymore. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Right at this moment last year we just finished some kind of roll-call, supper, and began unpacking while chit-chatting with friends berbekalkan two months story. sigh how time flies (dear time y u fly, y u no walk?) </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You know why I love Langkawi?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's the place I learnt a lot of things. From the littlest thing. Kat situ lah aku amalkan doa sebelum and selepas makan instead of just bismillah and alhamdulillah. Kat situ lah aku tahu hari jumaat afdalnya baca surah as-sajadah waktu subuh. Kat situ lah they introduced me to al-maathurat. Kat situ lah solat hajat, tadarus and solat qabliah and ba'diah are everyday's routine. Kat situ lah aku dapat solat berjemaah setiap hari. Kat situlah </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Moving on to a new book, I'm afraid.</div>
<div>
There will no longer be friends yang akan;</div>
<div>
"Fanad, dah solat belum"</div>
<div>
"Fanad, baju ketat"</div>
<div>
"Fanad, nampak leher"</div>
<div>
"Fanad, nampak rambut"</div>
<div>
"Fanad, riadah ah mandom je"</div>
<div>
"Fanad, homework siap belum"</div>
<div>
"Fanad, jangan tidoq"</div>
<div>
....................................</div>
<div>
(and the list goes on and on)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
People come and go. My friends might meet someone better after this and the same thing might happen to me too. As much as I try to make this friendship last, I am not going to put my hopes up high because each and everyone of us are going to the next phase of our lifes. Seasons change, so do people. We will not having each others back in a few months time. We will start studying, some will go far away. Some maybe close but are so busy that we rarely see each other. Some will evolved into someone we never know. Some will walk past by us with just a nod and a smile. Some maybe will not have a glance on us at all.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It is sad. I know. But that's what going to happen and I'm preparing myself for that. It's not that our friendships will end, as long as we are in each others prayer, the ukhwah remains.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But it just wont be the same anymore.</div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
But you know what, </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
........ it is fine, sayang.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Having everyone is a bless. They come and leave with reasons and lessons.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Dearest friends, (especially yang tak boleh move on lagi :p) </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both;">
Dont forget the memories, just please put it behind. Appreciate the one around you right now, your family. After 5 or 2 years with friends, your family deserve your time right now. Dont be afraid to open your heart for others, let new people in. Get to know people, be in the community. Be it your neighbour, abang postman, makcik kedai runcit, or maybe volunteering.</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both;">
I love you guys.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Moga Allah redha.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7u_dFteNDYyWq_TwNrF6ocqmmGRFfMCTIpnLMRuWYxKXQ5MBBzh3PEL4c1cWbLHgQ5cnHQw5Z8o2v-T9AaVskKU1QpckYTVNYSwwHSdaYFsoFIYtxgipHrLpebXMu6umB_1tVUePGtvw/s640/blogger-image--1521748764.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7u_dFteNDYyWq_TwNrF6ocqmmGRFfMCTIpnLMRuWYxKXQ5MBBzh3PEL4c1cWbLHgQ5cnHQw5Z8o2v-T9AaVskKU1QpckYTVNYSwwHSdaYFsoFIYtxgipHrLpebXMu6umB_1tVUePGtvw/s640/blogger-image--1521748764.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Langkawi, be still in my heart (ewww)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
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<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/A6r7dW_o_qA/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/A6r7dW_o_qA&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/A6r7dW_o_qA&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
<br />
Okay this is us.<br />
And last shout out untuk deskmates tercinta sepanjang hampir dua bulan bersama.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
Hanisah.Aina.A'a.Fairuz.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
Macam-macam perangai terzahir waktu tu hehe.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
Serta fa'an yang agak jauh dimata tapi dekat dihati hikhik</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
THANK YOU SO MUCH.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
tidak dilupakan buat penghuni meja sebelah merangkap jiran, penghibur sepanjang masa.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
:)</div>
<br /></div>
Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-45718744074351469452014-11-25T10:43:00.001-08:002014-11-25T10:45:43.868-08:00hiraeth<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past</span></div><div>|welsh|</div><div><br></div>Right at this moment, I'm spending my last night in mrsm langkawi. After 2 years.<div>Mrsm langkawi is my home.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm afraid of getting sad. I'm afraid of getting lonely. I'm afraid of missing every single faces over here. I'm afraid of not having my cheerful friends around. I'm afraid of not having teachers to correct me when I'm wrong. I'm afraid of waking up not in the hostel, not in my room; TL 07, not on my bed. I'm afraid I will no longer read the quran or even scarier, neglect my prayers.</div><div><div><br></div></div><div>Mrsm langkawi gave so much too remember. </div><div>If someone were to ask me a year ago who would want to leave those gates, I would be the first to raise my hand up.</div><div><br></div><div>[can't help. Too sleepy. I'll continue later]</div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-41965774891907450772014-10-03T10:03:00.001-07:002014-11-30T22:56:41.981-08:00erlebnisseI planned. You planned. We planned. He did the planning too. And His plan is the best. Allah's.<div><br></div><div>Assalamualaikum brothers, and sisters.</div><div><br></div><div>I have a few things to share, basicly what happened for the last two weeks.</div><div><br></div><div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I got 69 for physics. I found a question which I can argue the answer. That time I believed that my teacher is the one who gave me the A. After a few days, my teacher add up my marks to 70.</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">But thats not the end.</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">It happened to be that the system for the teacher to key-in the marks had been closed.</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Rezeki tu bukan kita dapat sendiri. Rezeki tu bukan dekat tangan kita. Rezeki tu bukan dekat tangan cikgu. Even after my teacher agreed to add my marks, I still didn't manage to get it. Sebab rezeki itu Allah yang bagi. Kalau dah bukan rezeki kita, buat macam mana pun tak dapat.</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">A bitter-sweet lesson, I must say.</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">But if Allah meant it for us, kita pasti dapat.</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Alhamdullilah Cikgu Hadi buka balik the system after a week.</div></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Never thought about applying khazanah's scolarships before. I was suprised when my teacher asked me to fill up the form. I was confused and lost, not knowing what course should I choose. I asked Him for the best and when the result is out, I believe, without any doubt, that is the best.</div><div><br></div><div>It was a shock when the government announced that trial results are not valid. That means no spc, no fast tracks. Spc is our aim, the easiest way for us to further our studies, both overseas and local. It made me wonder, kenapa jadi macam ni? Kenapa after trial, after all the hardworks, after all the pains baru nak cakap trial is invalid? </div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Mesti ada hikmah. Mesti ada.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Trial mara was so important back then until most of us downgrade spm to the second level. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Mungkin bila jadi macam ni, we wont put ourselves in the safe zone just sebab trial kita haritu ada peningkatan. Bcube, have faith in Allah. Bersangka baik dengan Dia :)</span></div><div><br></div><div>'If you trust Allah with <u>the right kind of tawakal</u>, He will provide you sustenance as He provides for the birds; they go out in the morning with empty stomachs and come back in the evening with full stomachs' -Prophet Muhammad pbuh</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I would like to stressed on <u>the right kind of tawakal</u>. Berserah setelah berusaha.</div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Ask Allah to guide your hand with every decission you're about to make.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div>A month plusplus to go for me to search more life lessons in langkawi. May Allah ease.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="direction: rtl; clear: both;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWQBz6JdVwY8Z_cJwMHYARYuUaMtmYWTfyyjiSo-WDzmWSHZr48WhG0H4QkrgXFn4m4DVYy4doW3z0egOHnWi2wyc1FJO55wa9K4nocJ2br9gB0bIgHKA5qsOhMRcwTb3S9SQ-he1FQX8/s640/blogger-image-2071026405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWQBz6JdVwY8Z_cJwMHYARYuUaMtmYWTfyyjiSo-WDzmWSHZr48WhG0H4QkrgXFn4m4DVYy4doW3z0egOHnWi2wyc1FJO55wa9K4nocJ2br9gB0bIgHKA5qsOhMRcwTb3S9SQ-he1FQX8/s640/blogger-image-2071026405.jpg"></a></div><div style="direction: rtl;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div style="direction: rtl;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Going back today. Eidul adha dekat maktab. Tak sabar nak buat salam perantauan ceyy</span></div></div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-43856190527617736132014-08-30T08:56:00.001-07:002014-09-13T07:57:16.385-07:00querenciaI made a drastic decision to come home last night. So I reached Shah Alam around 10 hours ago and I'll be going back tomorrow.<br />
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To some people, it's a waste of money. I did feel the same way but I keep praying for something valuable, a little piece of lesson.</div>
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And alhamdulillah.</div>
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I got the seat next to the window. I used to sleep when I was on board but just now, I didn't. As the plane flew up high, the things on ground started to become smaller and smaller from my sight.</div>
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The weather was a little cloudy just now. I was amazed with the fluffy clouds, hanging and filling the empty sky. Felt like jumping from one cloud to the others. Sometimes it looks like a giant cotton candy. And with the clouds, everything on earth seems less clear.</div>
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As we began to get closer to Allah, this dunya seems so small, this dunya seems less significant from our sight. </div>
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And as we began to taste the sweatness of Imaan, our heart will no longer be attracted to this temporary dunya, it becomes blur.</div>
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End of part I.</div>
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Hoping for more, bi iznillah.</div>
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On 15th August, we had our usrah conducted by a new team, not the usual one. A one-word topic was discussed. Jodoh.</div>
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Then they asked for the audiences' first thoughts. Husbands, marriage, guys, family, love story were the typical things I heard.</div>
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From my point of view, 'jodoh' has a wider scope.<b> </b>At that moment, I figured out that meeting my friends is a kind of jodoh. Getting to know my teachers is a kind of jodoh. Me being the daughter of my parents can also be considered as jodoh. </div>
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Trial MARA is taking place. One week had passed, two more weeks to go. I know well that I won't read that much at home, but by seeing these faces, I gain one thing. Calmness. and I am aware that this come from Him. O Allah, thank you so much.</div>
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Oh and we had Aiman Azlan in our college a few weeks back which was great. He's a product of mrsm langkawi too teehee :)</div>
Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-20053841735209751932014-07-31T21:31:00.001-07:002014-08-30T01:43:28.939-07:00metanoiaSo we kind of winning the hunger games, alhamdullilah. I hope that the passed ramadan had turned everyone including me myself into a better person.<br>
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Eid mubarak people. Kullu a'm wa antum bi khair. Taqaballahu minna wa minkum. Asiff ala kulli hal.</div>
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There's nothing much to share about eid this year since I didn't go out that much, baju raya pun baru sempat pakai sepasang (of course girls have more than one baju raya), and I didn't eat much too which is kind of yeah, sad.</div>
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One friday in ramadan we had our usrah joined by only a quarter of the batch. It was dull at first but quantity doesn't represent quality because we had so much fun playing at the foyer even after the juniors had stopped playing, we still did until the guys came back from the prayers.</div>
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July 19th, classmate reunited. Had iftar together the next day.</div>
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And there go the smiles, laughter and happiness.</div>
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<span style="font-size: 13px;">after all the things we had gone through together, how can i not love the girls</span></div>
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To change for the better isn't easy. To maintain the change is even harder. I feel guilty when my heart feels for one thing but not the other, while the other thing is clearly much more important. I've been keeping myself busy to distract myself from less important things that once bother me so much. Letting go of things, peoples that make you happy most of the time which you know from the religious point of view, it's not good for you.<br>
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It's hard. and it did hurts.</div>
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But it's fine.</div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">kerana yang dicari itu cinta ilahi</span></div>
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Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-42526695460595060312014-06-28T10:59:00.002-07:002014-06-28T15:08:07.223-07:00ramadan kareem<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Dear ramadan, alhamdulillah we meet again. I know too well that our time together is short so I would make every single second count. I would prove my love to the one who brought you to me and my deeds, will justify on my behalf. Sincerely, your friend."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Assalamualaikum guys. So ramadan is here and I'm so excited to spend this month for the second and last time in langkawi with my loved ones. Time should slow down a little I guess. Anyway, in this holy month, apart from tarawih, sahur, tadarus and all other ibadah, there are some more we can add on to our list.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">to stop being lazy and talking craps</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">have sincere intention and work hard</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">avoid sleeping after Subuh (ehem)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">don't miss an oppurtunity for dakwah</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">give lots of 'physical sadaqah' (even smilling will do)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">plan your day the night before</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">make lots of dua for an ultimate productive ramadan</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Let's together decide on the goals and overall changes we want to achieve in this ramadan. Be ambitious but realistic and ask Allah for His blessing and assistance. Start small but consistent. <span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; line-height: 18.200000762939453px;">Take time out also to read the hadith about the virtues and laws of fasting. It will </span><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; line-height: 18.200000762939453px; outline: none 0px;">refresh the mind and the heart</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; line-height: 18.200000762939453px;">, and we will become even more excited and desirous to go through this month and earn the mercy, blessings and forgiveness of Allah.</span> Fasting is not just about restricting yourself from eating and drinking. There's a lot more to it. Your whole body have to fast! :)</span></div>
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Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-87688936847531870482014-06-01T01:38:00.001-07:002014-07-31T21:09:37.371-07:00one daySitting here thinking, one day I'm not going to go to school tomorrow. One day I'm not going to pack my stuffs to that island anymore. One day I'm not going to be able to see my friends every single day. One day we're all going to grow old and forget about half of the people we spent years of our life with. One day some people are going to move far away. One day my best friend and I aren't going to talk everyday like we used to. One day I may not knowing what on earth happen to their lifes. One day young loves won't be around anymore. One day life won't be this easy? One day all my favourite bands and musicians won't be making music anymore. One day all the things that made me happy when I was young won't exist. One day I'll forget about the amazing times I had with my friends. One day I'm going to be too old to do things I loved to do. One day life will change. Sometimes I say I want to grow up so much but I know one day I'm going to regret it.<br />
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Analysing back what had I done this first five months of 2014. I'm trully sad thinking of how some people don't even want to look at how much you love them, how much you want them to succeed together with you, how much you want them to be a better person, how much you want to cheerish the last moments being together, how much you want everything to run out smoothly, not only for yourself but for them as well. Ignorant, yes they are. I<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> never had this kind of one big family before which makes me appreciate every single little faces but I doubt any of them knows how I feel.</span></div>
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P/s: you know how it feels when people judge you for having feelings? It's like thousand of knives stabbing right to your. heart 😢😢</div>
<br />Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-5902125197377920042014-03-27T02:10:00.001-07:002014-07-31T21:34:15.760-07:00heat<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mid-sem holiday is going to meet it's end, soon. The scent of a very structured life can now be smelled. Our PG (Program Gemilang) ; kind of extra class had begin since January, the moment when I was still in my welcome-back-to-school mood. There are times where we received soooo many tasks and I end up not knowing where to start.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The heat of spm was felt since January but it's fine since I like warmness. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stack of books, bundle of handouts, tons of notes, time limits, excessive used of energy, lack of sleep etc etc. Struggling day and night to complete the syllabus, to revise last year's chapters, to make sure the new things learnt lekat dalam otak, to enhance soft skills, to deal with lots of people with different personalities each single day, and to grow up at the same time. Exhausted. Yes, very. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To gain strength is to turn to the owner of the strength, Allah.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I figure that the Activity Week was an escape from this mess. A week spent in the hall, at the field, school compund, not in class. It was more tiring compared to other typical weeks actually but I learnt so many new things so it was worth it. It was the week where I have to give my commitment at a few things at the same time. It was the week where I learned to respect others, to tolerate with others, like come on bukan aku sorang je penat, orang lain pun. It was the week where I understands how friends can boose your spirit. And it was also a week where I captured more and more faces that will occupied my heart forever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that day, we painted our class. A day with classmates, musics, singing and playing together while painting, eating together, slept, a short drama from pres ldp, vp ldp and ustazah aisyah and not forgotten curi-curi masa buat addmaths and chemistry. Click, another memorable day. Alhamdulillah.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">#np generasiku</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">#np laskar pelangi</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Homework banyak sangat ni buat aku rasa macam nak jadi petani" - said one of my classmate. luls</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Friends, let's make this remaining one year count.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May peace me upon you xoxo</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">oh and please excuse my grammar and spelling error 😉</span></div>
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Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-22912741410200536882013-12-30T20:25:00.001-08:002014-04-30T23:26:18.501-07:00spm year<div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In a few hours time I'll be breathing Langkawi's air. The one that make me suffocating some days but also the one that I know I'll be missing in the future.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As for 2014 I'm not having Aina as my roomate and Hanisah will be a block a part from my room which is kinda sad. But thinking about the idea of being close as roomates with new people isn't bad at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having Aisyah Shahidi, the vice president for our batch as well as my classmate, very good in languages, I must say.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having Sheff, the really hard working young lady with soft heart. Maybe she's the third party who will help me maintain the bonds with my ex-roomate and ex-floormate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And Teng. She and her silence. Maybe with that I can train myself to speak only when I need. Avoid talking useless things that give no benefits neither to me nor to the listener. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2014</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to be my best self. I want to make sure every steps I take is at least an inch nearer to my dreams. And a better muslim, of course.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Belajar betul-betul. Jaga solat."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's it from my dad. I don't need him to say much. I got what he meant. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back then when I transited in Doha, I talked to the stewardess. </span></div>
<div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It rarely rains in Doha. You guys are lucky."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The light rain. The cool breeze. The smell of the tiny drops.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was sooooo happy that moment. Alhamdulillah.</span></div>
Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-26047895545565456552013-12-30T18:45:00.001-08:002014-06-28T11:03:35.964-07:00the end of the beginning<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Too much changes and obstacles in 2013 till I doubt myself going through it till the last day. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Challenging nights.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A night before handing-in the thesis. Dealing with so many humans, broke down so many times. Not going to sleep a night before sem-innofest. Completing the display board. I swear that was my first time not going to sleep to complete a school task. Exam weeks urgh undefined. Thanks a lot to my stay-up mates.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of the memorable night.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2 November. Mini party. Food fight. 3 am shower. Naz's speech, talking about final exams, scholarships, spc. The most beautiful thing was when my classmates recite the Duaa Rabitah together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Langkawi wasn't an easy place. I knew that since the day I recieved the offer. But from the very first start, I knew that this place is worth fighting for. The beginning is always the hardest, they said. It isn't easy for people to accept us to be a part of them as it is hard for us to accept new people in our lives. Time heals. A little patience is all that we need.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I moved to Shah Alam. Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory which I can take out and unfold it in my darkest time, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping i still recognize the person I see there. I don't plan about forgetting the six years memories in Penang. I just decided to leave it behind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioCucU1AhCi_IICX1-luJw-T4qOP9OAWiJEuSqRdk9a0Mcfs6mdvRkBUz-rBBtnef9lRXklW5CHKvR2-GEooveEvScwAi2kM7lV7DIRfxXe0iB5YztXwKYW_AA3HPFA3hWolXAP4zR29g/s640/blogger-image-1239206762.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioCucU1AhCi_IICX1-luJw-T4qOP9OAWiJEuSqRdk9a0Mcfs6mdvRkBUz-rBBtnef9lRXklW5CHKvR2-GEooveEvScwAi2kM7lV7DIRfxXe0iB5YztXwKYW_AA3HPFA3hWolXAP4zR29g/s640/blogger-image-1239206762.jpg"></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks for making my last days memorable. This isn't the end. It isn't the beginning of the end too. It's just the end of the beginning.</span><br>
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Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-16770520170849975262013-12-15T15:30:00.001-08:002013-12-15T15:30:33.063-08:00Self-reflection2013 is coming to its end.<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Recieved the result for semster 2. Highlighted people I met and people I left. Playing back all the good and bad scenes that happened this year. Analysing the lessons behind every obstacles. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">More self-reflection needed.</span></div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-50625368173357146132013-02-10T18:35:00.000-08:002013-02-12T22:16:16.527-08:00New breath.I still believe that I'm dreaming. Everything seems so unreal and unrealistic, since the day the PMR results were announced. I don't even know why.<br />
<br />
Flashbacks.<br />
Three years ago, I wanted to grow up so fast, if anyone give me the ticket to walk out from those gates, I'll be the first to run. I wanted to live my life on my own way, without being tied to strict rules and this very structured life.<br />
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And at the end, I choose to have what I want all this while, leaving everything I have behind. Every single little thing. I'm afraid, I admit. When I decided to walk out from those gates, <br />
I feel like I'm totally exposed to all possibilities out there. The 'real' world. <br />
<br />
"It's time for you to shine brighter" - Najihah Alya<br />
"Day 203, and I still miss you" - Wan Anis<br />
"Pi sana jangan pakai tudung pendek sangat" - Atikah Tahir<br />
"May Allah strengthen our love" - Najwa Shairah<br />
"Find a friend that will never hurt you" - Rafeeqa Mahizan<br />
"Press the panda when you miss me" - Farahin<br />
"Sedih tu memang sedih, mesti banyak cikgu rasa kehilangan" - Teacher Faridah<br />
"Gimme your phone number, I nak minta tolong beli pinggan" - Teacher Harlina<br />
"Student Almashoor macam malaikat" - Teacher Ch'ng <br />
"Nanti saya rasa, 'ohhh, dah takda Dr. Fatin Nadhirah'. I'll miss you." - Teacher Najah<br />
"You're right here in front of me, yet I already started missing you" - Syahmilayana Amani<br />
"I hate you, for leaving us. You're priceless" - Syahindah <br />
"Kita dah asuh dia, nanti di sana, dia bawa nama kita jugak" - Pengetua told Ustazah Maznah<br />
"Just go and live your life well" - Adilla<br />
"Be tough. Hijrah is never easy" - Ain Nur Amirah<br />
*speechless* - Hanisah Muhammad Faiz<br />
"Keep calm and take care because y.o.l.o" - Nurul Iman<br />
"Take care, don't forget me, have fun. Gonna miss you" - Ummu Habibah<br />
"Jangan jadi malas macam kami" - Ruqya /OMG RUQYA MUST BE KIDDING ME/<br />
"Never turn back. Uhibuki fillah" - Anis Liyana<br />
"No more Fatin Nadhirah in front of my eyes. But there is in my heart" - Izzati Omar<br />
"You're full of potential. Don't change, unless for the better. A lose to the school, I would say - Teacher Jalilah<br />
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They're more than 'just friends'. They're like my family. Uhibbukifillah.<br />
<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYGra0a_P4oLjHskzVMVElS2S8eTbkeDxF2RueYMwfkuqy1zyWaf57c2LpVDREwtO9zFLnuPEbYLs2kNveQAGCe4abXAXzAnOiR0oYS7o504sGVesWKZJ5tEMfL2pJL0rk4qzb8HIfjSw/s640/blogger-image--289868515.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYGra0a_P4oLjHskzVMVElS2S8eTbkeDxF2RueYMwfkuqy1zyWaf57c2LpVDREwtO9zFLnuPEbYLs2kNveQAGCe4abXAXzAnOiR0oYS7o504sGVesWKZJ5tEMfL2pJL0rk4qzb8HIfjSw/s640/blogger-image--289868515.jpg" /></a></div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-74512599621717193962012-12-31T02:52:00.001-08:002012-12-31T08:03:39.966-08:00Next step2012 is the year that went by fast, maybe a little too fast. It is the year I meet many new friends and I realize who the real ones are. It is the year I felt the most pressure till the point where I gave up so many times but on the same time, I am still learning how to get back up. It is the year I said I was going to accomplish great things yet I feel like I just wasted times. It is the year I cried over too many pointless things, too many times. It is the year I often look back on all my lifetime memories in which I find myself missing people in them. But it is also the year I move on, slowly when someone whisper to my ears that everything will be okay.<br />
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Thanks a lot to those who keep on grabbing my hands every time I am about to fall. Thanks to those who honestly care.<br />
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If someone were to tell me a year ago how much I would have changed and how different my life would be, I wouldn’t believe them. No matter if it was good or bad, every single moment, person, experience, or decision has made me what I am today. I’ve made so much progess in becoming who I am. I may not be completely happy with myself yet, but that’s what this next year is for. It is so strange thinking about how this time last year I was a completely different person. You don’t realize how much you grow in a year until you look back at all the moments that led you to where you are right in this moment.<br />
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Alhamdulillah 2012 is the year that I grew up. I really did and become more certain of myself than before. 2012 has taught me that life goes too quickly to dwell on anything. Everything passes by so quickly and one day could end up as your last. So I am ready for 2012 to be over, and I am ready to welcome in 2013 with new eyes. <br />
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I hope going into the new year that I keep learning and living to my full potential. I am getting myself into new leadership roles, adventures and lessons that I cannot wait to learn whether good or bad. I am going to become my best self, my happiest self. And I am going to celebrate every success and fix every failure and enjoy every minute. But overall, I just want 2013 to be a good year, insyaAllah. <br />
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Atikah Tahir. Noor Najwa Shairah. Najihah Alya. Wan Anis Najlaa. Rafeeqa Mahizan. Merci pour les souvenirs. Je t'aime beaucoup *less than three*<br />
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31th December 2012<br />
1152 hours <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRGaD5O_KKj0m9wGVBrBSO2Y1-OB450yGlmhvnN-WSgKBJ2mvWhnbr9-AWJqaDLx6SHbF_sPzS9q8TZvoiLkm1KlvSGSYq1cuhPNs7G_B8TxQuBFavucMiGlyaGd7l8I9eLA_yl39fO0/s640/blogger-image--597685872.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRGaD5O_KKj0m9wGVBrBSO2Y1-OB450yGlmhvnN-WSgKBJ2mvWhnbr9-AWJqaDLx6SHbF_sPzS9q8TZvoiLkm1KlvSGSYq1cuhPNs7G_B8TxQuBFavucMiGlyaGd7l8I9eLA_yl39fO0/s640/blogger-image--597685872.jpg" /></a></div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-67118038528571998062012-12-23T06:21:00.000-08:002012-12-25T01:38:54.749-08:00Alhamdulillah*tiup habuk*<br />
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Assalamualaikum.<br />
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You know those days where great things happen, but the simple pleasures of life and kind gestures from others especially your loved-ones make it even greater? Those are the days I live for. Those are the days that I'll take the time to replay over and over in my head in future, engraving every single detail.<br />
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9A. Alhamdulillah I did it. Alhamdulillah my parents did smile. Alhamdulillah I get the chance to experience these moments. Alhamdulillah my loved-ones are happy. Alhamdulillah those fears fade away. Alhamdulillah I was able to say '<i>A untuk cikgu</i>' to my teachers. Alhamdulillah I made my family proud. Alhamdulillah<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span>I had good memories with this once-in-a-lifetime-exam<span style="font-size: xx-small;">. </span>Alhamdulillah I could motivate my little sister. Alhamdulillah, I'm another steps nearer to my dream. Alhamdulillah I'm still breathing. Alhamdulillah there are foods in my fridge. Alhamdullillah there's a roof over my head. Alhamdulillah there are clothes in my closet. Alhamdulillah I'm healthy. Alhamdulillah I can list those who loves me. Alhamdulillah I enjoy my holiday. Alhamdulillah I did touch the snow this year. Alhamdulillah I realized that Islam is so universal when I met Muslims almost everywhere on earth. Alhamdulillah I own good friends. Alhamdulillah there're still some people who correct me when I'm wrong. Alhamdulillah they still care. Alhamdulillah I was born in this family, as a muslim. Alhamdulillah I am who I am. Alhamdulillah for every single thing. O Allah, all praises belongs to You.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">“</span><span class="quote" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline: none 0px;">Yesterday Allah was looking after u. Today u are under His care.Dont worry about tomorrow, He is already there! Alhamdulillah Allahu Akbar!</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">”</span></div>
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Oh ya, and it's raining right now. I just love night that rains, sleeping by the window and able to look upon the sky while enjoying the cool breeze. Alhamdulillah.<br />
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"When it rains, it is time to raise your hand and pray. Do ask everything from Him. He do listen."<br />
<b>-Teacher J</b><br />
Alhamdulillah she is my teacher.<br />
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Good night.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beijing is a beauty. Alhamdulillah.</td></tr>
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<br />Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6237586106624715295.post-90256639701182833752012-09-16T01:30:00.000-07:002012-09-16T01:30:24.473-07:00Wish is just a wish<br />
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There are some stuffs that are just too complicate to even being type out. I stopped talking about my life in this blog because there are some thoughts that don't even matter. Thoughts that I would probably get judged about. Thoughts that make people approach me. Thoughts that make people pity me. Thoughts that make my life look extremely pathetic. And as much as I want to pour my heart out about all struggles that comes in my head, I refrain myself from doing so.<br />
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What's worse than wanting something that you can't have? It's not knowing what you want!<br />
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Wishing on all the stars in the sky for the answer to your questions, for something to believe in; someone to hold on. Having absolutely no control over yourslef, being caught up in a place you wish you were thousand miles away from. Being stuck somewhere between tha past and the future, nowhere near where you should be -in the present. Stuck in yesterdays and tomorrows, so far from home, far from everything you know and love. The uncertainty could just tear you to bits.<br />
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By the way, PMR is just in three more weeks. I'm feeling nervous in every second. Alhamdulillah, my preparation is almost complete. The only thing left to be done is to correct my intention. Why do I study? Lillahita'ala.<br />
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</div>Fatin Nadhirahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12513657733781912197noreply@blogger.com0